On The Subject Of God...

"God" is not a subject.

I heard a nun once say, "When I was with my family one time, we were talking about God, and my godfather said, 'Is God the only subject we can talk about here?' So I looked at him and said, 'God is not a subject, He's a person!'"

I think the nun has a point. But I would like to take that point further.

God is indeed a person, but He is more than that because He is God. He is the Creator of the universe, the Alpha and the Omega, the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-merciful, loving God whose very presence permeates our entire world.

The nun's godfather didn't just miss the point about God being a person, but he missed the point that we cannot compartmentalize God into a "subject" because our entire existence is dependent on Him, our entire experience is affected by Him, and everything in this universe points towards Him.

God is, in fact, the only "subject" that really matters.

God Of All Encouragement

From January 1 to July 1, as my 2010 New Year's Resolution, I kept another blog called "Betraying Bitter Betty." I was testing a hypothesis of mine that if we began doing something as simple as encouraging each other, the world would be a little more likable. My goal was to "betray the Bitter Betty inside all of us" and truthfully encourage at least one person per day for 6 months.

This turned out to be a hard but exciting challenge that literally changed the way I live. I do not feel as though this challenge has "finished" or "resolved," but rather it has led me to a greater realization of just how important and significant that challenge is.

Now, according to the NAB version, 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 says:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God. For as Christ's sufferings overflow to us, so through Christ does our encouragement flow. If we are afflicted, it is for your encouragement and salvation; if we are encouraged, it is for your encouragement, which enables you to endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is firm, for we know that as you share in the sufferings, you also share in the encouragement.

For Lent, our household gave up sarcasm and complaining, resulting in probably one of the hardest yet fruitful Lents in my lifetime. Fortunately for me, this coincided within my New Year's Resolution time frame, thus giving me extra encouragement (and accountability) to encourage...and not be negative.

Coming home for the summer has been really difficult. If there's one big difference that has come from my resolution, it's that I feel almost hypersensitive to negativity. I find myself being dragged against my will back into old behaviors and habits of slicing sarcasm and frustrated arguments with the family. Of course, though it's against my will, I do have the choice not to give in...I just feel the negative environment seems to weaken my will.

To be honest, I don't really know what to do. Trying to stay positive is an obvious effort, but what about practical ways to do that? Still working on it...

If I come up with something, I'll let you know.

Meanwhile, I encourage you to be encouraging. It really does more than we might think on the surface...After all, if God is the God of all encouragement, it necessarily follows that we would strive to imitate that and be God's people of encouragement -- not of judgment, hatred, condescension, or despair.

Love Is Real, Love Is Here

My good friend Alissa inspires me.

In fact, she has inspired me since I met her exactly 2 years and 10 months ago.

You see, 2 years and 10 months ago, I was fine. I loved my life and I was excited to be at college in Ohio, away from where I would have been in California.

But 2 years and 8 months ago, I was not fine. Within 2 months I reached a very sad and dark place in my life, much to the disappointment of myself. I didn't understand, well, anything really. While my insides seemed to be consumed by hurt, pain, suffering, confusion, anger, resentment, unforgiveness, self-hatred, shame, guilt (the list goes on), there was this shining beacon of light whom I knew as Alissa.

There were many such beacons of light, but this one was different. Alissa was different. Her light radiated outward like many of the others, except that hers also radiated to me. She wasn't just a light, she was light to me. I was gradually becoming acutely aware of the stark contrast between the abyss of what my life had become and the radiant joy that was right next to me. I lived with these beacons of light, with these people who lived a different life, yet I was unable to leave mine no matter how hard I tried or how badly I wanted it.

Then, 2 years and 5 months ago, after the longest 3 months of my entire life, I painfully and desperately tried to grab some light of my own.

Alissa was there, radiating her light still. Sometimes I would see her so exhausted and tired, but never too tired to stop radiating that light. I was so intrigued by this but so thankful because I didn't have time to wonder or care if she was tired or exhausted -- I needed that light so that I didn't slip back into darkness.

It wasn't until 1 year and 8 months ago that I began to see the darkness that I was in. How, you ask? Because I was so immersed in it that I could only vaguely sense it. However, I could vividly perceive where I was not, which is where Alissa was. Well, she had graduated months before and I didn't see her for several more. But suddenly, I realized I was no longer suffocating in darkness (without ever knowing I was, confusing I know) because then I was so far removed that I had a much clearer vision.

Without having seen Alissa for almost a year, it hit me one day -- I realized what a beacon of light she was. I could say that I knew that, that I noticed, but I didn't really. I was still too caught up in myself. Like I said, there wasn't really time to pay much attention.

Overwhelmed with thanksgiving and love, I can now tell you, 2 years and 10 months later, why she was and is a shining beacon of light that continues to inspire me, even to this day.

She was, and is, my friend.

I know that she knew I was stuck. Most people probably did. But she shined greater than anyone else because she didn't tell me I was stuck. She didn't act like I was different or living an unacceptable life with unacceptable people. She was my friend, and all she did was love me. The love she showed was so drastically opposed to the love I was NOT shown that I could not help but notice and desire to be free from everything else holding me down.

My faith is no secret, so I find it safe to say that Satan was after my soul. He wanted me so bad. And guess what? He lost. Epic failure. Alissa had screamed a resounding YES! to God before we met, though sometimes it was probably a weak, reluctant one. But little did she know that as she kept saying that yes, that disciplined, obedient yes every day, God was winning the victory over my heart and soul. If it weren't for her saying yes to HIM, then I would not be here. I don't where I would be, but it probably wouldn't be here.

So I have been thinking about how much I miss her. But no matter how much I do, she still inspires me anyway. We go months without talking, but when we do I am always overwhelmed with gratitude that she would see me through the eyes of God and do nothing more than be my friend.

This very long, quite personal entry is merely to culminate in this point:

Who's to say we are not this person for someone? We do not forget those who change our lives with small acts of kindness, so who's to say that we haven't done the same? And if we are having a hard time, well, that's life. But maybe there is someone who only knows hard times and doesn't need to be convinced. Maybe that person needs to know that even in those times, there is hope. We still have a choice. We still shape our character. Maybe they need to know that discipline is possible, that we are not ruled by emotions or instincts.

Perhaps they need to know that love is real. And if you show them that...well you just might change someone's life.

Real love is unconditional. Real love is a habit. And yes, that means it's a choice.

Make the choice.

Oh and P.S. -- Alissa is the same Alissa as the one mentioned on the right. She writes one of the most passionate and well-written blogs that I follow. Read it.

Extraordinary...

I believe that inside each of us is a strong desire to do something great with our lives, to follow ideals, to refuse the heavy weight of mediocrity, to courageously commit ourselves to humbly and patiently improve ourselves and society, making the world more human.

Never let that small flame burn out.

But remember that life is ordinary. It is in love and beauty that we find the extraordinary, which makes me think -- if we constantly love and constantly see the beauty that surrounds us, have we not then made the extraordinary in our lives the ordinary? What a thought, to think that that's possible...

Doing something great and following ideals doesn't necessarily include being widely known for it. However, it does mean that you have greatly persevered and succeeded in whatever state of life you are in. Make the extraordinary the ordinary.

Great LOVE.

I actually cleaned my room the other day. And by "cleaned" I don't mean that I just picked up my clothes and made my bed. I mean that I really cleaned it - even my desk.

It just so happens that I discovered a stapled, two-page packet on my desk. I have no idea where it came from...I vaguely remember someone giving it to me, but it has been buried for so long that I have totally forgotten who that was or why I have it. It was greatly uplifting and inspiring, however. There are two pages of short bits of wisdom, adages you might say (or at least they should be).

Here are some:

"In the past I was called upon to be sympathetic, which gave me a feeling of sorrow for the pain and disappointment of my neighbor.

Today I am expected to have empathy -- that disposition by which I put myself in another person's shoes, feel what he feels, understand his actions and judge with more compassion.

In the past I was expected to lend an ear to a neighbor's problems or opinions and it was enough to be attentive.

Today I am expected to listen with loving attention, be willing to learn, be humble enough to change if necessary, and be totally interested in all he has to say. I am asked to be objective.

My brother may offend me seventy times seven, but my faith in him should rise to the occasion, give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him. His knowledge that his offenses have not lessened my faith in his inner goodness will help him gain confidence in himself."

I made certain parts of these bold for a reason. Do you ever feel like we are too caught up in ourselves? Or maybe we are so caught up in ourselves that no, we have never felt that way. But seriously think about it. All of these point to something greater -- the fact that our life in this world isn't just about us. Other people are living in it as well, and we are all constantly coming in contact with each other and living in relation with each other. That's how it is. That's how it was meant to be. So how can we possibly think it is OK to continually assume that others are somehow interrupting our lives, what we want to do, what we have deemed as a perfect day, how we imagined everything would turn out?

GET OUT OF YOURSELF LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE.

What if Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. or Mother Teresa felt that annoying people only got in the way or thought that someone else's hurt/pain didn't really have any concern for them?

It's a good thing we all don't think that way. Nothing would ever change. What inclines one to desire change? Is it purely selfish motives? How much change does one enact, however, if it is only for himself? What does he do in times of adversity? Who supports him?

True change for the good of all comes from people who care about the good of all, people who believe in the good of all, people who fight for the good of all -- not just people who talk about it. It's inspiring but can be intimidating too.

Therefore, Mother Teresa concluded, "We cannot do great things, only small things with great LOVE."

Stop Tearing Flesh

The word "sarcasm" in its origins literally means "to tear flesh."

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think I've ever wanted to tear someone's flesh - especially with my words. Upon hearing this, I began reflecting almost every day on what it means to be sarcastic. Oftentimes we joke about it. Is it really sarcasm if it's all in good fun, and the other person knows you don't mean it? It's become our excuse to continue being sarcastic. But even if no one takes offense to it (or so we think...how much do you think they just let it slide?), did it actually build that person up? Was it necessary? ...Probably not.

So basically, we unnecessarily tear each other's flesh with our words, laugh about it because it makes us feel good to do it, ignore the fact that it's really a pathetic belittling of others, and expect them to understand that we are really just too self-conscious to admit our faults, thus pointing out other's faults and hiding our own. Oh, and if they don'tunderstand...well, obviously that deserves an entirely separate condescending, sarcastic remark about how they can't take sarcasm (which really means they dislike their flesh being metaphorically torn from them by your insensitivity - who wouldn't like that?!).

That was definitely a reality check for me.

After getting smacked in the face with those realizations, I naturally wanted to find some way to stop the terrible cycle of sarcasm in my own life, hoping to affect others as well. But have you ever tried to just stop? Sadly, I can only describe it as quitting cold turkey, which reminds one of addictions...and probably rightly so. I don't know if anyone thinks of sarcasm as an addiction, but if you HAVE tried to quit cold turkey, you might know what I mean. It's hard. Like, really hard. It's almost as if you have to re-learn how to talk to people. Granted, there are probably various degrees of this problem, but even still...just the fact that so many people would have to go to such lengths to stop tearing other people down implies that something is critically wrong. And why is it so natural to us? Why is this awful "sense of humor" so integrated into American culture and so freely flowing from our mouths?

I think it's because we are looking for the truth about ourselves.

At the beginning of this year, I mentioned what a narcissistic people we have become. In the last couple months, I've come to believe that we are so narcissistic that it bothers us that everyone else is too. We yearn for that relationship with others that builds us up and helps us become more fully ourselves. It's inherent in our being to desire to be the most excellent version of ourselves that we can, and it is absolutely frustrating when we are looking in the wrong places or when it feels like no one else even cares.

The more I think about it, the more clear it becomes that the only way to truly stop being sarcastic is to have a complete change of attitude and mindset. This is actually the entire point of doing this blog - it's not just about notbeing discouraging, not being bitter, or not being sarcastic - it's really about being a different person.

So in the last month and a half that I haven't posted anything, I've been trying to change my entire person and surround myself with other people who are also trying to better their person.

Fragrance Prayer

"Dear Jesus, help me to spread your fragrance everywhere I go.

Flood my soul with Your Spirit and life. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of You.

Shine through me, and be so in me, that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me - but only You, O Lord!

Stay with me; then I shall begin to shin as You are, so to shine as to be a light to others. The light, O Jesus, will be all from You; none of it will be mine; it will be You shining on others through me.

Let me thus praise You in the way You love best, by shining on those around me.

Let me preach You without preaching - not by words but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to You. Amen."

Be Still!

Psalm 46:10 : "Be still and know that I am God."

"If we keep praying, our relationship with God will grow and deepen into a rich union of hearts, allowing us to be still and know that He is God. We begin our life of prayer with words, our own and the words of others; in particular, the Word of God. When choosing material to pray with, it is important to choose carefully...sacred scripture, the inspired word of God, is always the best source for texts for prayer. If we allow the words of Scripture to soak into our hearts and minds, we will be able to say with the prophet Jeremiah, 'When I found your words, I devoured them; they became my joy and the happiness of my heart' (Jeremiah 15:16)" (Spirit of Caramel Fall 2009, pg 15).

I love that - be still and know that I am God. He does not say, "Busy your minds with prayers and petitions for me." While there is a time and a place for petitions and thanksgiving, our relationship with God is deepened when we listen because it is just that - a relationship. It goes two ways. It requires our listening to the Lord and responding to Him as God.

And this should be done ALWAYS. Constant mental prayer. That is what we strive for! That is what Paul preached to the Thessalonians ("Pray without ceasing..."), and it is the essence of a fruitful, rich relationship with Christ.

Psalm 1:

"(1)Happy those who do not follow the counsel of the wicked,
Nor go the way of sinners, nor sit in company with scoffers.

(2)Rather, the law of the Lord is their joy;
God's law they study day and night.

(3)They are like a tree planted near streams of water, that yields its fruit in season;
Its leaves never wither; whatever they do prospers."

I broke it up by verse on purpose. First, "Happy those who do not follow the counsel of the wicked." Sorry, but who you hang out with DOES matter. A lot. Are they leading you towards Christ and encouraging a life of prayer?

The second verse is critically important, saying, "The law of the Lord is their joy; God's law they study day and night." Day and night! Constantly! Another version uses the word "delight" instead of "joy." We should delight in the law, which is the Word of God (also Christ - John 1); it is our source of joy. What do we delight in?

The third verse is probably the most unbelievable: "They are like a tree planted near streams of water...whatever they do prospers." Whatever they do? Well, yeah if their entire life is founded on Scripture and if every prayer comes straight from the Word of God! To be like a tree planted near streams of water sounds wonderful to me. Never thirsty, never dry, never in want of anything...Scripture often uses water symbolism when referring to the Holy Spirit, and I can't help but recognize that here as well. Judge a tree by its fruits, right? Well if the tree is one founded on the Word of God, constantly being fed by the Spirit, will fruits not be born? If you are constantly praying in the Spirit, who is God, will not whatever you do prosper? It says so in Psalm 1. And the Word is Truth.

Study it. Delight in it. Pray it. Claim it.

Fear.

Have you ever noticed that when you resolve to do better, to pray more, to make a change, things get harder? Suddenly praying those 5 minutes every morning are a lot tougher than you originally planned, and it's difficult to stay focused.

Do not be discouraged.

It's actually fairly common, as frustrating as that is, but most people think it means something is wrong. They are told that they must be doing something wrong. They think that they aren't good enough or holy enough.

That's a lie.

I am reading a book called Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. It's actually a book on manhood written from a Christian perspective (the one for women is Captivating), and I definitely recommend it. The reason I mention it is because there is a section where Eldredge really hits the nail on the head in regards to this, our efforts to move forward in faith:

"That is the next level of our Enemy's strategy. When we begin to question him, to resist his lies, to see his hand in the "ordinary trials" of our lives, then he steps up the attack; he turns to intimidation and fear. [...] Satan will try to get you to agree with intimidation because he fears you. You are a huge threat to him. He doesn't want you waking up and fighting back because when you do he loses. 'Resist the devil,' James says, 'and he will flee from you' (James 4:7, emphasis added). So he's going to try to keep you from taking a stand. He moves from subtle seduction to open assault. The thoughts come crashing in, all sorts of stuff begin to fall apart in your life, your faith seems paper thin" (page 166).

Sound like a familiar story? That sure is the story of my life. Something really good comes into my life, I form a good habit (or try to), meet a person who needs my help, start a bible study or praise and worship group... What happens? Satan tries to attack it -- and me -- at all the weak points.

Face it -- he knows our weaknesses, our wounds. He constantly goes after them. What do you struggle with the most? Try to grow closer to Christ and see where you begin to hit road blocks. Probably in the most vulnerable, wounded areas of your life.

But God is with us. To the very end! And perfect Love casts out all fear. The Lord is that perfect Love. He is with us, and in Him we have nothing to fear. Standing firm in our faith in Christ, we have been given the same Spirit as the apostles on Pentecost. The same Spirit! The same Spirit that guided them across nations, that gave them power to heal, that gave them power to cast out demons, that gave them power to preach the gospel of Christ, that gave them the courage to die for their faith. This Spirit is the Spirit of Truth, which is Christ, and he is with each one of us.

So do not lose heart. For although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed every day. For this momentary slight affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transient, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Fight the good fight.

Reality

It hit me last night.

People don't live in reality.

Lot's of people think they do, but they don't. The reality is that most people live without ever giving a thought to anything spiritual. However, because it is real, because God is real, because there is a spiritual battle happening for our souls as we speak, how can we say we truly live in reality if we ignore this aspect of it?

Sure, we can't see it necessarily. But neither can you see the wind.

Have you ever stopped--I mean really stopped--and been present? As in, fully and completely acknowledge where you are, right now, in this moment in relation to everything else?

This world we try to build for ourselves is nothing without God.

It's time we stop ignoring it and start facing the fact that what we think, say, and do does matter. It does have moral bearing. It does affect us. I does affect others. It does change lives.

That is the reality.

"If you are who you should be, you will set the world on fire."
- St. Catherine of Siena

The Fallen

We are human. That's why we fall.

Why do we try then, in our human nature, to not fall? By our nature, we fall.

It is God's grace that saves us, God's grace by which we fight and win.

Therefore, why do we not ask for God's grace in the moment that we see we are about to fall?

And if we continually ask for His grace, wouldn't it stand to reason that we would continually find strength to not fall?

And if we do fall...then get back up. Through grace.

For it is only through grace that we do not fall, and only through grace by which we get back up.

We Always Hate Change!

I used to complain at how difficult it is to adapt to change, especially spiritually. Because I go to school in Ohio, I transition every few months from my home in southern California to my school in eastern Ohio. The two environments are not only severely different in weather and culture, but in the atmosphere I'm in as well. My actual home is a nice place, and I enjoy my family...sometimes. My friends are great as well, but I'm discovering that the more I change and grow at school, the harder it is to be home. At school, I'm surrounded by 2500 other people striving to be holy and become saints. There are 3 Masses every day, perpetual adoration, chapels in every dorm, and a million possible ministries you could join. My professors pray before class, and I'm friends with priests and nuns.

All of this makes the transitions that much harder. I don't have the same opportunities at home as I do at school (i.e. Mass at 3 different times every day). I'm not around the same people. I have absolutely no school schedule that I have to follow. My friends don't even get out of school at the same time...It all makes for an interesting change, to say the least.

However, I mentioned that I used to complain. It just seems so hard. Even semester to semester at my school is so different.

But why wouldn't it be? It should change. We are people and as such, we perpetually change. School is basically a large community of people, a.k.a. other perpetually changing humans. If our faith and spiritual life isn't changing, then something's wrong! I heard it put so beautifully once - If you're not moving forwards, you're moving backwards. Why, do you ask? Because life is an uphill battle. Life and faith are climbing the mountain, and if you stick yourself into Neutral and become complacent, you're just rolling back down the hill.

So obviously we'll be changing. Obviously my spirituality will change. I can't get stuck into a routine of "prayer life" that happens to work for me because that's not how you grow. When I come back to a place that's more spiritually dry than Franciscan University, it's my opportunity to grow in a different way. It's my opportunity to have more quiet time with God in my room, alone, as opposed to only in a chapel 20 ft. from my dorm room. I can experience God anywhere, YOU can experience God anywhere.

Don't complain about change like me, and definitely don't let complacency take hold of you without you knowing it. I've done both, and they haven't really worked out for me very well. Experience God in new ways. He is, after all, the living God. The Bible is the living Word of God, so read it. The Holy Spirit is living, and he is everywhere, so experience him!

Complacency and discouragement is NOT of the Lord. Ever.

Encourage.

During a sermon at Mass on Wednesday, Fr. Mike talked about St. Paul and how one of his favorite ministries that we are all called to is the ministry of encouragement.

Think about it. Think about how people's attitudes would change day-to-day if we just encouraged each other to keep going, keep fighting, keep persevering.

He then proceeded to tell a story from 71 yrs. ago when he was 6. He hit a bully in the head with a frying pan because he was picking on the girls, and the other kids encouraged him. After Mass, he told us that we should not miss the moral of the story and that we should find ways other than frying pans to encourage each other...but the point remains the same.

We can over-compliment, but we can never never over-encourage.

Do not let one another fall into discouragement and hopelessness, both of which are not of the Lord.

Encourage one another always, and keep fighting the good fight of faith.

Take Action

Love is a powerful word thrown around these days, often in ways that aren't so powerful.

Like my love of burritos.

I wouldn't exactly say it's on the same level as my love for my family.

That's why the Church often uses the word "charity," which means love.

However, charity is much more distinct. It clarifies what is often intended by Jesus when we are called to "love."

Charity is about action.

It is love in action; therefore, love is an intentional choice and not just an emotion.

And that is the type of love Jesus calls us to.

Find Jesus

God is love.

Mary is the Mother of God. She loved even when her son was persecuted, tortured, and killed.

Mary is the perfect example among humans for loving, especially for loving Jesus. Her heart yearns for all of humanity to know him as our Savior, and as his mother and spouse of the Holy Spirit, his graces are poured out through her.

Sometimes we struggle in our attempts to approach Jesus and to take him as our loving King, but sweet Mother Mary shows us how. We don't just imitate Mary, but we find Jesus through living her virtues of faith, charity, humility, patience, obedience, continual mental prayer, mortification, sweetness, purity, and wisdom.

We entrust our lives to the Holy Spirit in order to do God's will, but in doing so, we give ourselves also to the care and love of Mary. We promise to live out the virtues in order that the graces of God may be poured down upon us, and we ask for her intercession so that every struggle, suffering, joy, and petition may be made perfect before the Lord.

Challenge one another to love as Christ loves, and through Mary's example of humility and purity, submit to Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior.