Great LOVE.

I actually cleaned my room the other day. And by "cleaned" I don't mean that I just picked up my clothes and made my bed. I mean that I really cleaned it - even my desk.

It just so happens that I discovered a stapled, two-page packet on my desk. I have no idea where it came from...I vaguely remember someone giving it to me, but it has been buried for so long that I have totally forgotten who that was or why I have it. It was greatly uplifting and inspiring, however. There are two pages of short bits of wisdom, adages you might say (or at least they should be).

Here are some:

"In the past I was called upon to be sympathetic, which gave me a feeling of sorrow for the pain and disappointment of my neighbor.

Today I am expected to have empathy -- that disposition by which I put myself in another person's shoes, feel what he feels, understand his actions and judge with more compassion.

In the past I was expected to lend an ear to a neighbor's problems or opinions and it was enough to be attentive.

Today I am expected to listen with loving attention, be willing to learn, be humble enough to change if necessary, and be totally interested in all he has to say. I am asked to be objective.

My brother may offend me seventy times seven, but my faith in him should rise to the occasion, give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him. His knowledge that his offenses have not lessened my faith in his inner goodness will help him gain confidence in himself."

I made certain parts of these bold for a reason. Do you ever feel like we are too caught up in ourselves? Or maybe we are so caught up in ourselves that no, we have never felt that way. But seriously think about it. All of these point to something greater -- the fact that our life in this world isn't just about us. Other people are living in it as well, and we are all constantly coming in contact with each other and living in relation with each other. That's how it is. That's how it was meant to be. So how can we possibly think it is OK to continually assume that others are somehow interrupting our lives, what we want to do, what we have deemed as a perfect day, how we imagined everything would turn out?

GET OUT OF YOURSELF LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE.

What if Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. or Mother Teresa felt that annoying people only got in the way or thought that someone else's hurt/pain didn't really have any concern for them?

It's a good thing we all don't think that way. Nothing would ever change. What inclines one to desire change? Is it purely selfish motives? How much change does one enact, however, if it is only for himself? What does he do in times of adversity? Who supports him?

True change for the good of all comes from people who care about the good of all, people who believe in the good of all, people who fight for the good of all -- not just people who talk about it. It's inspiring but can be intimidating too.

Therefore, Mother Teresa concluded, "We cannot do great things, only small things with great LOVE."

Stop Tearing Flesh

The word "sarcasm" in its origins literally means "to tear flesh."

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think I've ever wanted to tear someone's flesh - especially with my words. Upon hearing this, I began reflecting almost every day on what it means to be sarcastic. Oftentimes we joke about it. Is it really sarcasm if it's all in good fun, and the other person knows you don't mean it? It's become our excuse to continue being sarcastic. But even if no one takes offense to it (or so we think...how much do you think they just let it slide?), did it actually build that person up? Was it necessary? ...Probably not.

So basically, we unnecessarily tear each other's flesh with our words, laugh about it because it makes us feel good to do it, ignore the fact that it's really a pathetic belittling of others, and expect them to understand that we are really just too self-conscious to admit our faults, thus pointing out other's faults and hiding our own. Oh, and if they don'tunderstand...well, obviously that deserves an entirely separate condescending, sarcastic remark about how they can't take sarcasm (which really means they dislike their flesh being metaphorically torn from them by your insensitivity - who wouldn't like that?!).

That was definitely a reality check for me.

After getting smacked in the face with those realizations, I naturally wanted to find some way to stop the terrible cycle of sarcasm in my own life, hoping to affect others as well. But have you ever tried to just stop? Sadly, I can only describe it as quitting cold turkey, which reminds one of addictions...and probably rightly so. I don't know if anyone thinks of sarcasm as an addiction, but if you HAVE tried to quit cold turkey, you might know what I mean. It's hard. Like, really hard. It's almost as if you have to re-learn how to talk to people. Granted, there are probably various degrees of this problem, but even still...just the fact that so many people would have to go to such lengths to stop tearing other people down implies that something is critically wrong. And why is it so natural to us? Why is this awful "sense of humor" so integrated into American culture and so freely flowing from our mouths?

I think it's because we are looking for the truth about ourselves.

At the beginning of this year, I mentioned what a narcissistic people we have become. In the last couple months, I've come to believe that we are so narcissistic that it bothers us that everyone else is too. We yearn for that relationship with others that builds us up and helps us become more fully ourselves. It's inherent in our being to desire to be the most excellent version of ourselves that we can, and it is absolutely frustrating when we are looking in the wrong places or when it feels like no one else even cares.

The more I think about it, the more clear it becomes that the only way to truly stop being sarcastic is to have a complete change of attitude and mindset. This is actually the entire point of doing this blog - it's not just about notbeing discouraging, not being bitter, or not being sarcastic - it's really about being a different person.

So in the last month and a half that I haven't posted anything, I've been trying to change my entire person and surround myself with other people who are also trying to better their person.