It's Not Just About Me

So I had somewhat of an epiphany on Tuesday. God's plan for me isn't all about me. It was one that you realize over a period of time, knowing something already but looking at it in a new light.

I know that my actions and words, no matter how small or how big, can affect other people, whether positively or negatively.

So why have I not applied this to my faith?

In some ways I have. I know that certain people have completely changed my life, especially spiritually by the tiniest actions or words. However, I am talking about God's plan for my life. I'm talking about living a holy life and trying to get to heaven. I'm talking about fighting the good fight. Why have I not applied this?

I've been out of school now for over a month, and I have to be honest, I've pretty much sucked in regards to my spiritual life. A lot of the fervor and perseverance I built up at school seemed to gradually (but quickly) drain out of me. I talked to friends from school, asked them what I should do and how I should get my butt back in gear...My complacency was bothering me so much because I knew that deep in my heart I desired to do God's will, and I wasn't doing it. I couldn't imagine life being so mundane if I was living as a saint like we're supposed to. As much as people like to think so, God is not boring and I don't believe that His plans for us are either.

So last Tuesday I was in adoration, and as I sat in front of Jesus I realized that everything I'm called to do isn't just about me. It's not only God's plan for me, but how I fit in His plan for everyone else. The reason I need to get off my butt and kick myself into gear spiritually isn't just for my own salvation, but for my preparation to become what God wants me to be - and when I am who He wants me to be, He can then use me in His plan with everyone else. So if for no other reason, regardless of how down I can get on myself or how complacent I can become, I know that I can pick myself up for the sake of what it means to God and everyone else.

I have no idea what I will be called to do, who I will impact, or how I need to be formed in order to live for God, but I do know that if I do everything I can to truly live a holy life, then I am only helping myself and everyone else out. I am doing what I was meant to but not focusing on how it helps just me.